Peer-reviewed feedback for Yeni and Serin

April 16, 2010
By Mathan_Ratinam

Below are the peer reviewed comments for the presentation made in class…

10 Responses to “ Peer-reviewed feedback for Yeni and Serin ”

  1. Nadiah on April 16, 2010 at 2:31 pm

    I really like the hand-drawn quality of the illustrations, and as long as it attracts the child, through testing these with the children of your target age range, the exploration of different media such as watercolor, pencils, etc. is useful.

    I think the domestic space is well explored with the bear, when looking at the storyboard.
    Think about the relationship to text, if the child is going to be able to read, or its the parents that read them the text. So you can get both parties engaged, and both learning.

    In terms of presentation, it would be useful to have the Word document simplified. Also, if you could structure the presentation in terms of introduction to conclusion. I wasn’t sure what’s happening after, or the next steps.

  2. Chris Choi on April 16, 2010 at 2:33 pm

    I like the name change from “Care Bear” to “Brave Bear;” easy to remember. I agree with Nigel though, about how the Red Cross is always talking about the “readiness, preparedness, etc.” Something to think about.

    Good situational context that is easy to remember for children. The “do as I do,” concept is nice. However, because your target audience is “under 7,” you might want to think of less complex situations.

    Interesting that you considered different mediums (craypas, watercolors, pastels, color pencils, etc) for illustrating the bear. I think children would definitely respond better to illustrations that are done in similar and familiar mediums. I like the handrawn aspect.

  3. Tanya_Kumar on April 16, 2010 at 2:35 pm

    I like the name ‘Brave Bear’ instead of ‘Care Bear’ because it will motivate the children under 7 to become ‘brave’ like the character. You need to be careful though, to make the bear look brave, not just prepare a kit and then end the book. For example, after he packs the kit, you could make Brave Bear say something like: “I am ready to be brave and help out if there are any disasters..” or something because the children really need to believe that this bear is something like a hero (not even a superhero with powers, but just s brave hero).

    Or if you want to change the name, how about Prebear or Ready-Bear or something like that but personally, I think ‘Brave Bear’ as a name is more attractive to children.

  4. caroline on April 16, 2010 at 2:39 pm

    Will there be any explanation about the components of the kit?
    I feel there is 2 ways to go maybe: adapt the content to the age of the bear (to me the bear’s appearances more suitable for younger kids) or adapt the look and feel, the aesthetic of the drawings to reach up older kids (6, 7…)?
    I think this could be gold for younger kids, up to 4Y or something.

  5. Haeun_Kim on April 16, 2010 at 2:42 pm

    If 3 sections are combined altogether, it’s going to be heavy.
    For kids who are under 8 years old, you should make it light and use soft material :)

  6. Julynn_Benedetti on April 16, 2010 at 2:52 pm

    I like the alliteration in “Brave Bear”, but maybe the name of the bear could be a little more referential to the Red Cross or preparedness. “Brave” still has hero connotations for me. How about PreBeared? (Like prepare, but with bear?) I think Nigel has a really good point in regards to “Ready Bear.”

    Also, I think you need a stronger narrative behind the bear to introduce and more fully flesh out the character. It seems like right now it jumps right into the actions rather than introducing who the bear is and why we should care about him.

    Although the bear IS really super cute and that in and of itself might be enough to make us like and care about him!

    I know the class is debating whether or not there needs to be a narrative or just an instructional pamphlet. I definitely saw it as a storybook, but perhaps the instructional pamphlets could be supplementary. I think that Brave Bear definitely needs some context.

  7. George on April 16, 2010 at 2:53 pm

    I understand the link between being prepared and being “confident”, but it’s harder to understand the relationship between “preparedness” and “bravery”. I think children (especially boys) place a lot of importance on being brave, so this could be one way of engaging them, but perhaps the link needs to be fleshed out.

    Even if this is being imagined as being an instructional book, because of the age group you are targeting, I think the narrative and character development will be what allows a child to find relevance in the content.

  8. Mathan_Ratinam on April 16, 2010 at 2:57 pm

    The ‘get a kit’ body of information is a good starting point but since it wasn’t written narratively so how will you convert it into a ’script’. It’s not easy to write a witty script but at that age group if the books are going to be read to kids by parents which means you have to make it entertaining for parents as well

    It’s fine as an instruction book but would be a much stronger project it were a story book, which would serve both purposes.

    I also think that the best way to understand (and develop) the character of Brave Bear will be how they manage difficult situations.

    Maybe it is an instruction book that is structured in a way as to allow for the parents to create stories out of the instructions.

    So with the thick pages for the book they are really for an age group that won’t be able to comprehend or act on the content and ideas that you are trying to teach.

    This is a great project which is why we are pushing it hard.

  9. Kelly_Nichols on April 16, 2010 at 3:03 pm

    So there’s been a move from Superhero to Brave. Brave because he is prepared, ready. I think this is a good move away from the “superhero” model from your midterm presentation.

    Currently, the different items that are being collected for the preparedness kit are not paired with explanations as to why they are important. Giving the reader a concrete reason why each kit item is necessary could help build an acceptance of the necessity.

    Intended more as an instructional “booklet” rather than “children’s booklet”. Consider the parent’s relationship to this book/booklet. Could this be a way to reach the parents through the children? Perhaps the stories instigate the child-reader to enlist their parents’ help in putting together the actual family prep kit?

  10. Yina_Ma on April 16, 2010 at 7:14 pm

    Thanks everyone!! ^–^